I totally agree with Ben!!! You know my mom had a friend and that friend was infertile. So one day she decided to take a boy in the orphanage. Everything was fine and boy was healthy and nice. She tried to raise him a good boy and give him everything he could live happily. In the result when he grew up he began to drink alcohol and use drugs. This happened when mom’s friend was very ill and couldn’t walk. So as a normal child he needed to take care of her. Instead this he took all money and left her even without food. She died from hunger in her house…and at the beginning everything seemed alright and he was a normal child…after this story I have such thoughts associated with adoption…I mean about killers and drug addicted people.
Kevin - I was unfortunate to read this story before going to bed.. To die of starvation, terrible. I suppose you are showing the example of the domination of the genetics over the upbringing and the life experience.. i think that with a human being it is more complicated.. Else way there would be a good point to sterilize all the criminals in the jails - then in a hundred years we would have a society where the police service would not be needed at all I suppose) I do not know. All I can say - is how i would act. and I did choose the surrogacy - and I am going to choose it again - when I am going to have the second child! This way I will be sure that my kid does not have the "unpleasant surprises" in it)
Kevin, it may happen with everyone, not only with adopted child. My classmate was adopted, and other guy from other class of the same age, and you know, they are very good and friendly people, and their parents adore them, and not only parents. This is a really good example of adoption. I can say that sometimes such behaviour, that you mentioned, is the reason of bad friends, their influence, so if you see that such people are close to your child, if you don't want your child to take drugs and to drink - you must explain him that he has to avoid such friends. So everything depends from parents!
Yes, Ben it is a great example of the dominant role of genes. You know Patrick I don’t think that if your adopted child has bad genes and now everything seems fine and they are not dominant so to say you are not protected that one day they will totally change your child. I believe that genes are very important. The behavior depends on the character and character is passed through the genes. They are very important and we can’t somehow change them or make so they don’t influence on the whole organism and a person in all his or her actions.
Guys, how can you be sure that you have brilliant genes? C'mon. Yes, you know your parents very good, you know parents of your partner, but you know - all people have dark side... How can you be sure in your grandfather or great-grandfather and so on? I heard a story from my friends, from Ukraine, so the thing is - the boys (19 years old) killed grandmother of one of them, just for fun, just to get some money. And it was his own grandmother!!!
Such sad stories happen and very often!!! Sometimes it seems to me that people kill their relatives more often than unknown people. Life is so difficult and soooo unpredictable. I can’t say that my genes are perfect! No one can boast this. Our genes change with each new generation and what will be with them in one more generation we can’t know exactly. I know one gay couple that decided to go through the surrogacy program with donor sperm. In reality this child will not be theirs but I decided to ask why they decided so and what a surprise!!!! They said they think their genes are too bad and they don’t want their future child to inherit them.
And did you ask them - why do they think so? They have bad relations with each other or very aggressive? Just curious why people think that their genes are good or bad... They are your friends as I understand? Concerning their situation, this is the same as adoption, right? If none of them is his biological father...
Kevin - that is a strange decision indeed! Why would not they simply adopt the child, instead of performing this long, expensive and complicated procedure? that does not make sense to me. I can imagine the reason they did not want their genes to pass to someone, though.. But if I am right - those must be some really terrible reasons - like the hereditary disease that passes from the generation to generation - or if there was a maniac in the pedigree of one of those guys.. Be careful with them, just ion case) But anyway - the way they decided to handle this situation is pretty strange. I would simply adopt the kid, I would save lot of time and money with that.
To tell the truth they are really strange concerning this topic. Yes the child will be genetically not theirs …they say that adoption is too complicated for them. As for their genes…. I also asked the same question – how can you be sure that your genes are not appropriate to be inherited by your child? The answer was stupid I think ….One of them said:”Look at my partner! He is too lazy and drinks too often! How can you say that his genes are nice! And look at me! I am too fat and my ears are too large!” before he said this I thought that such situation can happen only in some movie.
Kevin - you sure that was not a joke? that really sounded like being one - from a bad comedy, you know - the one they used to show in the night open air cinemas in eighties, when you just drove there with your girl friend on dad's old Chrysler to have some privacy) Sorry - I got carried away) In any case.. maybe you should leave them alone - if that was not a joke - these guys are pretty strange to me.. Either they have some strange ideas - or they do have some other reasons they do not want to open to you. Though the way they did describe themselves - maybe they should not need to have the kids at all?:)
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