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Tony
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 08:58
son's unrequited love

I managed earlier than my partner has a son from previous marriage. Boy is 14 years old. They were pretty young parents. So, today he is a teenager and I should say that it is not the easiest period in our lives. Hormone levels are growing)) But the problem is that he "loves" girl next door. She is the same age and she's rather pretty. But she doesn't want to have friendship with him. And as we found out it is difficult to explain him not to disturb her all the time. He is sad all the time and she doesn't care, she just live and doesn't know that each minute he is thinking what to do to be at least her good friend. Do you have some ideas how to make it easier for him, or how to explain that it is better to live her alone?

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Andrew
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 08:59
son's unrequited love

Puberty period is rarely easy and it is great that he is adult already and he found the object for his fantasies :) But from the other point of view it is bad that he refuses to accept negative answer because it is not the last negative answer in his life. Maybe it is not needed to explain it to him but instead it will be better to give him time to understand everything by himself? You know, each person has some borders, crossing which you understand whether you still need it or not.

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jack
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 08/16/2014 - 11:40
son's unrequited love

I saw the same situation with my classmate and girl from our school. It was strange to see when he was ready to do everything for her and she was completely indifferent. I don't know why it happened like this because usually if people start something they like each other. But sometimes we see situations with unrequited love and I don't know how to help because he should understand by himself that he needs to reload his brain and feelings and to begin one more time with other girl.

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Tony
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 08:58
son's unrequited love

Your son needs your help. Such situation like this can provoke problems in future. He is pretty young bot now and he decided to make his first step but he make the wrong one and it can have bad consequences. he can grew up closed to other girls. His first negative experience will influence to future skills of communication especially with opposite sex. It would be easier to have mutual relations before this.

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Alex
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 07/05/2016 - 10:40
son's unrequited love

Yes, you all are right. I understand that the situation needs immediate solution because it really can influence his future.
I and his biological father tried to explain and we had a couple of serious and frank talks and he told that can do nothing with himself.
We thought about the visit to psychologist but we afraid to suggest him such method of solution. Or it is not worth to afraid to use all possible methods.

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Tony
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 08:58
son's unrequited love

Very sensitive question and very very intimate one. You need to find appropriate approach to your son.
Don't just suggest him to go to the doctor to cure his unrequited love. Explain him what consequences it can bring to him in future. Show him seriousness of the situation. I understand that he still has high hopes that she will turn his attention to him but he should move further. Think this period is crucially important and this situation will determine his future relations with women.

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jack's picture
jack
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 08/16/2014 - 11:40
son's unrequited love

Don't you think that he has problems with girls because he is not straight?
You know he can feel this puberty period and he can just think that it is time to start relations, that it is moment to try. And he started but not in the right zone. Or maybe he understands his homosexuality but afraid to understand it and try to change himself. In such case there is doubled trouble.
Be more attentive to him. Your son needs help and think the decision with psychologist is the right one.

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Andrew
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 08:59
son's unrequited love

You painted the worst situation at once. of course, I agree that it is better to b ready to the worst situation but don't you think that to be gay teenager who is trying to have relations with girl and receive only unrequited love is too much?
He is just young, it is his first try to become a real man and he doesn't know how to do it right. He afraid and you as a parent should help him to understand that there ar a lot of other girls and he has great variety to choose. Show him that there us another world where he can try a lot of girls :P

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Alex
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 07/05/2016 - 10:40
son's unrequited love

I don't know how to show him this another world with other girls and with other people. Seems like he sees only her. I understand that it is not normal. As for me it is strange.
I understand everything that he is young, that he is afraid. But we with his father showed him that we are ready to help if he needs. We are open for a dialogue and are ready to do everything to relieve his sadness. He knows that we are by his side 24/7.

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Tony
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 08:58
son's unrequited love

It is good that you showed him your friendly position.
If you think that you did everything you could do then just give him time to analyze, understand and accept by himself. Just be near him and maybe it is not worth to make a big problem but just give him time to cope with his feelings and emotions.

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48

AdamL
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 08:14
son's unrequited love

I don't think that it is possible to explain something to a teenager in love until you consider his feelings seriously. And these feelings are serious. Of course, they are not the same as adult feelings, but it does not mean that they are weaker or less serious. Did you read Shakespeare ? Do you remember how old Romeo and Juliette were? 13 and 15. And nobody telling about their love puts the word 'love' in breckets. He suffers from unmutual love even more than he would if he were adult. Because adults can keep their feelings in control and teenagers are only learning to do it

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