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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:04
sibling's jealousy

Me and my husband we have a little son who is 1 year old now. And we are the happiest fathers all over the world! Our son was very long-awaited child, because it was not so easy for us to find appropriate surrogate mother for him. And we still enjoy every moment tha we spend with out son...
But recently we had a talk with my beloved about having one more child. I always dreamt to have a daughter, to put on her these wonderful rosy dresses and make ponytails, to buy dolls for her...my partner also wants to have big family, because he came from the family of many children and he has several brothers and sisters, so he thinks that it is good idea...
But we are afraid of the reaction of our son about newborn baby...may be he will feel lack of attention then and be jealous to his little sister...How avoid this?

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:04
sibling's jealousy

well i think that little children always want to have brother and sister and that's why i think that your little son would be happy for it. but you should understand that it is really true that children become jealously because of appearing another small child in the family as they used to such things that all the attention is paid to him. first of all you have to find the balance. you cant forget about elder child whil taking care of the younger one. you should definitely find sime free time at least an hour a day to play with elder child, or just to talk, without any interrupting or something like this.

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127

Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:04
sibling's jealousy

It is a rather common problem for all the parents of more than one child. In my own family it went through generations from my mother's side - my granny was and elder sister and she hated it, but she repeated her mother's mistakes and bore 2 kids who also could not find a common language till they grow up. My mother was an elder sister and she hated it, so she bore only one child - me. This story leads to one conclusion - all the children should be loved equally and know about how important they are. Of course, the younger needs a lot of caring. But you can involve the elder in the process of bringing up his\her younger brother\sister. It will be a help for you and there will be no jealousy

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127

Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:04
sibling's jealousy

i am not very familiar with such problem because we are having only one child and we dont want to have more. i think that having one child i the best variant. and i didnt have an experience of ot for my own childhood as i was also only one child in the family. but i think that at one time one child becomes jealous, it is very difficult to pay the same attention to the both children. and so it happens that you apy attention to one than to another. that is why it think that one child is the best. you wont have such difficulties.

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127

Adam
Last seen: 1 year 12 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2016 - 08:30
sibling's jealousy

Thank you guys, for your answers! I appreciate your attention! The matter is that i have nowhere to turn to for getting an advice in this matter....
Recently i asked my cousin who is the mother of three children about jealousy in their family....And you know what? She told me that it's a big problem for them! Because her eldest son is 12 now, he is a teenager and is very jealous to his younger brother and sister, espcecially to sister who is the youngest one, she is 4. Cousin told me not to have more children because jealousy is impossible to avoid....
And now i am so confused about this matter, i don't want to hurt my son, may be it is really better to have one child than several kids:(

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:04
sibling's jealousy

Children's jealousy - a natural phenomenon, and even regular. The emergence of a new family member will inevitably entail competition between children, their struggle for the attention of parents. The rivalry between the junior and senior can take different forms, but it always brings suffering child. Parents should be prepared for sibling rivalry, they can help the child to overcome this feeling. The correct behavior of the parents in a situation of jealousy between children and well-being depends on the whole family, and mental health of the child, his ability to build relationships with others. To prevent sibling rivalry is impossible, but every parent is able to bring this feeling to a minimum and prevent its negative effects. T And, despite the fact that the reasons more attention to one child often objective, their second child can not understand, because he is little difference between them and other kids can not see. That is why the purpose of parents - to help a child less painful to go through a difficult period for him and teach their children to live together in love and mutual respect.

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127

Mike
Last seen: 2 years 3 hours ago
Joined: 07/08/2016 - 09:24
sibling's jealousy

Sibling jealousy may be among your children not only, when they are very small, it may present during of all your life, especially adult life. I think that this may happen in every family. But as for me, everything depends on a character of a child. All of us are different, that's why we can't know in advance. If you have this desire, I mean of bringing up the second child, then you should do it anyway. First of all you should show your love to both of your children in the same extent, or at least you are able to explain to the elder one, that his sister/brother needs more love and care at that period of life.

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JasperJ
Last seen: 1 year 2 months ago
Joined: 03/03/2017 - 07:50
sibling's jealousy

Prior of being worried about the attitude of the son to the possible existence of the second child in the family, you have to ask his personal opinion about it... in my persoal point of view, you have to talk to the boy and get to know his opinion abut this idea.... so, you have to be honest with him and open minded..! maybe he will be just happy and thrilled with the idea?!! you never know.. I know a lot of examples when children were even asking parents to "get" them a sister of a brother..!!! why not... about the jealousy, I do not even know. here is always the other side of the question, but your task is to be really into the BOTH kids of yours...

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Alister
Last seen: 4 months 1 day ago
Joined: 03/15/2018 - 06:54
In our case, jealousy

In our case, jealousy manifested itself as "tears on wheels" and problems with sleep. The older boy slept worse than the younger, woke up almost every night for the first couple of months, cried, for a long time could not fall asleep. Very often at night we had long tantrums in the bathroom, when the son could not wake up (ie, come to a conscious state and begin adequate communication) and cried and cried ... He himself was apprehensive about the kid himself, I did not want to touch it, but there was not any offense either. In general, the behavior has become more controversial and with a claim to manipulation by parents - but we have this age, three years: the child breaks away from parents and manifests independence. So the notorious crisis of three years was superimposed on the appearance of the second baby. In addition, according to psychologists, the option "boy and another boy" - the most difficult, because the desire to "play a live doll" in boys wakes up much less often. Moreover, the younger boy is like a rival, who will then be interested in the same cars and railways

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Albert
Last seen: 3 months 3 days ago
Joined: 04/16/2018 - 07:27
It is very important not to

It is very important not to leave the baby for the first time alone with the older child - even if the older child loves him very much and does not express anything aloud resembling jealousy. The child can simply, out of good motives, try to feed the baby with an adult meal or try to pull it out of the crib. Do not show the child that you were frightened to see his desire to take the baby in his arms: thank for the impulse, for the love of his younger brother. This is important - so that the child does not think that you do not trust his younger brother or sister. Suggest him to help you with something else: for example, bring a socks of a brother or open a package of diapers. Read together with a child older (and later with two) tales, where there are brothers and sisters, watch movies.

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Brian
Last seen: 2 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 04/16/2018 - 07:31
It is from this moment on

It is from this moment on that your first-born will begin to constantly demand proof of your love. And he should receive them on the first request. Tell your child how you love him and how his younger brother or sister loves him. Hug and kiss your kids as often as possible. When the little one is asleep, find half an hour and play only together, think up a secret for two, etc. Do not be afraid, emotional intimacy will never spoil the child.Just do not try to prove your love with new toys and all sorts of sweets. This is a direct way to educate a capricious and spoiled baby. Feelings can only be conveyed by words and behavior.In our case, jealousy in its vivid manifestation was practically absent. The daughter required her mother at full disposal only when she went to bed or when she was ill

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