There are many alternative forms of the family, only in Western societies live according to a rigid model of "father, mother, child." You know the African proverb, "to raise a child it takes a village"? Many talk about it, but no one lives by this principle. Two teachers for one child is too few. Perfect I believe kinship affiliation through the female line, as is customary, for example, in Burkina Faso.
There are all women of one family feel responsible for all children, that is children grow up with multiple mothers. It does not matter who is the birth mother, the word "aunt" is. The mother's brother act as social fathers. It is the opposite of the madness against mothers, which is practiced especially in Germany, when we a woman giving birth to a baby, heaved all the responsibility.
Many mothers hope that there is a partner for her and the children, and are disappointed when this is not so. Real support they get then - by the way, in Western society, too - from his own mother, from his brothers and sisters or friends. For children, it is strong and reliable caregivers, which we should appreciate as such. Unfortunately they are too often seen as a mediocre replacement for an absent father due to the strong occupation or even a little present. I believe that such relationships are a family.
The problem is that our expectation of happiness we associate with this life model. Partner and children need us to delight, a home should be a place where you're aiming, where everything has to be in order. It is too high expectation. The family must make a man happy, but it does not.
Our definition of family is too narrow. "Father, mother, children" is too few participants in order to satisfy all needs. Besides, in a small family there are two things that do not necessarily have to be related to each other: romantic love and secure upbringing of children.
Monogamous relationship couples in our society are ideal above all. But it is not normal, almost every second marriage breaks up, unmarried couples, it looks the same. Instead of recognize this and create the other basis for family life, we are talking about individual pairs, "which is simply unable to cope". The stable relationships in our economic system is almost impossible
Our economic system and our family lives are different. In the labour market is dominated by competition, the logic of cost / benefit and maximum profit. In family life, by contrast, an emotional appeal and empathy. At the same time to combine family and work almost the same as squaring the circle. Everything that supports a single structure, resulting in another ruined.
But how do they themselves feel at the same time? It is no accident that we are one after the other discussions about compatibility. Unfortunately, these discussions lead to nothing, because nobody asks the main question. Instead, parents, especially mothers, get some tips on how they could optimize their lives, to combine family and professional activities, policies, open a few kindergartens, enterprises are allowed a little to work upon removal. If the family all this does not help, it means that the thing in itself. Discussions about compatibility distract from the question of how many people suffer in small families.
But normal little family almost does not exist. She became a myth. Reality is of separation and divorce, more single mothers, fathers unhappy and tired generation of parents. Even supposedly harmonious families often are not: violence against women and children occurs mostly in the narrow family circle.That is just the opposite: the fact that the model of the small family took place, became the norm.
They never meant for this. Even the Romans, who invented marriage two thousand years ago, harboured no illusions. They openly talked about the "source of irritation" for all participants. Marriage was more of a way for men to determine which children are their rightful heirs. These scripts determine heirs has varied over the centuries.
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