This is the use of sincere praise, along with a genuine pat on the back when your child makes progress on something which is difficult for him. Next, add concrete rewards that are of a currency that your child values to complete the picture. You know what your child likes—maybe it’s video games, television, art supplies, or sleep–overs with friends. Try making a list of incentives that your child can earn on a daily basis, in addition to “bigger ticket” items that he could achieve over time. :woohoo: :woohoo:
Again, have your child participate in the creation of this list. Helping to keep your child’s “eye on the prize” while serving as his supportive coach during moments when he begins to digress, can create significant results.Whenever possible, determine most rewards ahead of time, be clear with behavioral expectations and do not forget the crucial teaching component. It is important to understand that we cannot expect kids to do something differently if they do not know how. :woohoo:
Your child’s behavior can often be linked to the developmental stage he is moving through. Keeping this in mind is significant because it helps us soften our view. In other words, it’s not that kids are always deviously acting out—they may just be exercising an undesirable method of accomplishing a developmentally normal task. As adults, we have made it this far in the world because of what we have learned. B) B)
Lend them your skills! You can guide your children to use more appropriate ways of checking off milestones. This might involve problem–solving conversations, role playing, or planned “field tests” that allow your kids to practice the new skills they are acquiring. Being a coach and teacher are two of the most effective hats you can wear as a parent. In the end, be kind to yourself—we parents are all still learning too! :) :)
Taking a look at what behavior you might be reinforcing and how you are reinforcing it may lead to a change in your approach and yield better results. Remember that when you resort to bribery to control your child’s behavior, the price that you wind up paying is actually a lot higher than it may seem in the moment. Instead, require that your child earn reasonable rewards by taking care of his responsibilities and making positive strides in improving his behavior. :woohoo: :side:
We give our children ice-cream if they're "good", chocolate if they're quiet, little gold stars if they eat their greens, maybe even money if they get good marks at school. We praise them with a "good boy!" or "good girl!" if they do something that pleases us. For the modern and discerning parent, the hitting-and-shaming method of "discipline" is passé. Punishment is out, and rewards are in. Why use the stick, when we can better teach a child by using a carrot? :P
The New Age hype about praising and rewarding children for what we call "good" behavior has gained massive popularity. "Find something good your child has done, and praise them for it!" say the nouveau "how-to" books and seminars. Psychologists all over recommend the "star-chart" treatment to modify your child's behavior. This trend is the offspring of a particular school of psychology - the "behaviorists" - whose thinking currently dominates much of mainstream psychological and educational theory. :whistle: :whistle:
In fact, these days praising or rewarding your kids' "good" behavior is so customary that almost nobody - until recently - has thought to question its validity. Praising or rewarding kids is just plain common sense, and good parenting - isn't it?. Who would doubt that it's good to give children praise, or prizes when they perform to our liking? The praise-and-reward method is definitely hunky-dory, since it is backed by a ton of evidence from the most methodical and ingenious research that money can buy. :whistle: :whistle:
Actually, it springs from the work of psychologists who painstakingly discovered that they could train rats to run mazes, pigeons to peck at colored buttons, and dogs to salivate at the sound of the dinner bell - by giving them a controlled schedule of rewards. Psychologists soon became titillated about the idea of controlling human beings, by applying to us the same principles that worked on animals. :cheer:
Imagine their excitement when they realized that rewards work exactly the same on humans as on rats, pigeons and dogs. Modern psychological know-how has enabled us to manipulate children's behavior, thoughts and emotions in the same way as we can teach a seal, with a few sardines and a little flattery, to balance a ball on its nose. One problem, though. We don't particularly care about the quality of relationship we develop with a lab-rat. :P ;)
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