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Bimbo
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 00:07
Rewarding a child

What can bring rewards the efforts of your child? Is it a good practice? I thought a lot about it. In addition, I read some books about it. And many experts say that rewards the child can help motivate his desire to work to get something in this life. Because children have to gradually get used to our life and cruel world. So, I think this is really good practice. What do you think about this? Do you agree with me? :woohoo:

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Moro
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Joined: 09/02/2016 - 08:18
Rewarding a child

Rewards can be used as positive reinforcement for modifying negative behaviors. Rewards that are selected by the child are usually the most powerful. Also, a variety of reward possibilities helps to keep a child motivated over a long period of time. Rewards can be privileges, things or activities with parents. Be sure rewards don’t become a substitute for words of praise and encouragement; rewards are most meaningful when given along with positive words and touch from parents. :woohoo:

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898

Henk
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Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:10
Rewarding a child

Many parents wonder what the difference is between a bribe and a reward. After all, in both instances, your child is getting something for doing what you want him to do. But when is this helpful in teaching him better behavior, and when is it harmful? 1-on-1 Coach, Erin Schlicher explains.It’s important to understand that bribery can become an ongoing pattern that ultimately teaches your child to act out to get what they want. :P :cheer:

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Kris
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Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:10
Rewarding a child

This parental plea might sound like an exaggeration, but it’s actually not as far off–base as you might think. During my nearly two years as a 1-on-1 Coach Advisor, I heard many parents describe interactions with their kids in which they promised all manners of enticing treats and activities in exchange for behaving appropriately. Parents end up feeling as though they are desperately bribing their children to comply. :cheer: :cheer:

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1094

Dasty
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Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:10
Rewarding a child

Kids can come to expect something extra for simply executing their daily responsibilities, which can in turn lead to a false sense of entitlement.It’s important to understand that bribery can become an ongoing pattern that ultimately teaches your child to act out to get what he wants. To make things even more confusing, attempting to curtail your child’s unruly actions by offering a bribe might actually seem like it’s working in the moment. :whistle:

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Bimbo
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 00:07
Rewarding a child

Take the classic example of a parent who is dutifully trying to get her grocery shopping done while her kids are running wild through the store. The parent is frustrated and embarrassed, so she proposes a deal: if the kids will settle down and get through the shopping excursion, they will each be given a candy bar.Great, it seems to work! But wait…afterward, the parent is left feeling played, and she soon discovers that this tactic leaves her with a sense of powerlessness. :side:

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880

Bimbo
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 00:07
Rewarding a child

This is because in this scenario, the acting-out child has learned another method of maintaining control. You can even think of this behavior as blackmail—“you better give me a sweet payoff, or I’m going to make you suffer!” Kids will likely continue to use this strategy as long as it is working for them.Many understandably confused parents have asked me outright, “So what is the difference between giving a bribe for good behavior versus rewarding it?” :woohoo: :oops:

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Bimbo
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Joined: 09/02/2016 - 00:07
Rewarding a child

I’ll tell you what I’ve told them: Generally, bribery occurs under duress—right smack in the middle of a situation in which your child has seemingly sprouted horns and a tail. It happens quickly, when all you want is to change your child’s behavior on the spot, so you offer him something that you had no previous intention of offering. It is a form of negotiating—and remember, over–negotiating puts the child in the driver’s seat. :whistle:

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Bimbo
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 00:07
Rewarding a child

On the other hand, the effective use of rewards is quite different, because you are compensating your child for his good behavior, rather than being manipulated and extorted.To understand how rewards work, it can be helpful to think in terms of how the work world operates. You do your job and complete the tasks that are required of your position, and your concrete reward is a paycheck.While there are numerous other ways in which work can be satisfying, the paycheck is the tangible form of a reward that you receive. :P

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Chaki
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Joined: 09/28/2016 - 09:10
Rewarding a child

For your child, motivation to please parents and teachers might apply more during different phases of development than others, but for the most part, children tend to be externally motivated by things they want or enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, most children want to stay in the good graces of their parents, but if they are given rewards regardless of how they behave, the incentive to practice new skills disappears. :)

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Bimbo
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 00:07
Rewarding a child

As I’ll explain next, James Lehman recommends that parents come up with a list of rewards with their child ahead of time. That way, when your child behaves in the grocery store, he knows ahead of time what his paycheck will be—and so will you. Pairing James Lehman’s concept of Strategic Recognition and Affection with tangible rewards (the child’s version of the paycheck) is one of the most effective ways to reinforce appropriate behavior. :lol:

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