Often, distrust and sometimes fear of people arises from the fact that the subject transfers an unpleasant situation that has happened to him to a new relationship and has already predicted them to collapse, since he does not even try to understand the new person and analyze the whole essence of his actions. Such a person erects walls between himself and the surrounding world because of what becomes even more closed and alienated.But we must always remember that it is trust that strengthens our psychological state and balance. After all, any person in this world needs to realize that he is not alone. That there is someone who can pour out his soul, who can support in a difficult moment, calm, comfort. But it is worth such a person to stumble and admit the slightest oversight of the other, it can forever cross out all the good that was and will contribute to the removal from the offender.
Trust is a fundamental factor in creating and maintaining meaningful relationships. Trusting in someone can mean everything from telling a person your deepest secrets to knowing they'll be on time for an appointment. There are many levels of trust, but all require you to put your faith in someone. Offer your trust first. Putting yourself out there is tough, but it is much easier to build trusting relationships if you are willing to take the first step. Try something small, like sharing a personal story, confiding a small anxiety, or asking someone to go on a date. If the person is rude or distant, then you can move on to someone else. But if they offer something back or sympathize with you, telling a similar story or agreeing to go on a date, then you’ve both taken the first step towards a trusting relationship.
Hi, OP! I think yuo won't be totally happy, unless you learn to trust people. Betrays do happen in our life, and we can do nothing with it as there are always good and bad people around us. However, it doesn't mean that you need to shut your soul for everybody. You never know what is going to happen with you tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Maybe, you'll meet your beloved while walking in the park or chatting online. As for trusting people, I think you should pay attention to the way the people keep their promises. If they are careless about the least promises, it's better to quit them as there is always a great probability that they are liars or something like this. At any rate, I wish you good luck in your life and hope to read one day that you've learned how to trust people
I honestly understand your disappointment and hesitation...your concern is familiar to me, because I have been thinking about for so many times, that this is huts has sucked all the belief out of me...as for the possibility to get rid of this awful feeling, I will tell you at least one thing for sure - you have to pay attention to the details..for starters, it is not really clear for me what caused the disbelief in your heart??
and the second thing - have you already met the right person in your life, that you are willing to let that all negativity away and have the real good relations here
you should try to understand why you are afraid and do not want to trust people. As a rule, such "closeness" is most often associated with the painful experience in the past, or a special character storehouse. If you restore in memory that forgotten case, you will understand that unpleasant emotions came from one particular person who behaved incorrectly, and not from all your acquaintances. Therefore, do not continue to wait for a dirty trick from all people in principle. You can read some information about it on internet or in books because it is very serious question and many articles was written on this theme. It is very interesting for me to talk about this.
The tendency to distrust is usually born in childhood. Children are totally dependent on adults and simply have to trust them. However, it is worth it for Mom to hesitate a little and not respond immediately to the call, as the child begins to suspect her of a lack of love for him. Angry at his mother, he attributes her own irritation, laying the groundwork for future mistrust. The Austrian-German psychoanalyst Melanie Klein, who first studied this phenomenon of mistrust of children toward parents, believed that such experiences are natural, unless they subordinate the entire emotional life of the child to themselves. Growing up, he can calmly accept the duality of his attitude toward others: he will learn to put up with the fact that a momentary suspicion of a loved one does not exclude trust and love for him.
As in any other question, the root cause is important here: try to understand why you are afraid and do not want to trust? Understand who you are building defense to: does mistrust belong to all the people you know in your environment, whether it concerns only men or some other specific group of people.As a rule, such "closeness" is most often associated with the painful experience experienced in the past, or a special character storehouse. Having restored in memory that forgotten case, you will understand that unpleasant emotions came from one particular person who behaved incorrectly, and not from all your acquaintances. Therefore, do not continue to wait for a dirty trick from all people in principle.
Knowledge helps people to come to all this. And the more a person knows and the more qualitative his knowledge, the easier it is for him to come to the material and spiritual values that he needs.
After all, you can earn the same money in different ways - you can perform very hard, dirty and harmful work for them, or you can just make the right decisions, give the necessary orders, make several calls a day and earn two or three hours more than many people earn on hard work for a month and even a year.
That's it, friends, betraying other people, we can take from them a few years of life, and for what, for what kind of benefits, for what kind of benefit? I do not think that it's too profitable to mislead someone else's soul, it's too profitable, in any case, I have not met happy traitors in my life who built great happiness on someone else's misfortune. Well, let's deal with this issue in more detail.
About how much pain, what incredible suffering and what damage a person can do to someone's betrayal, many of us know well, or at least guess. This is especially well known to those who have already been betrayed in this life at least once. But there are not many people who know about such treachery.
When you know exactly what you need for another person, you know how to give it better so that you can get it. This is the competent manifestation of your ego, which seeks the possibility of self-gratification, but only more skillfully, with guaranteed benefits. In this way, your egoism can be useful to you, because it is a clever selfishness that does not contradict you, not others.
Maybe, of course, not always and not everywhere is the understanding of other people necessary, sometimes firmly defending one's position is the most acceptable option, but in most cases understanding of other people is necessary.
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