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Michael1585's picture
Last seen: 2 months 1 day ago
Joined: 09/28/2017 - 19:06
How to rebuild trust

Hello guys! I have a huge problem. My partner cheated me and I don't know what to do. Whether to forgive him and to forget about it or to break our relationships. Well, if to br honest, I still love him and I don't really want to brake up, but on the other hand, I can't trust him any more. Guys, have you ever had the same situatio? What have you done? Do you know some ways how to rebuild the trust? If so, than can you share it with me, bacause I don't know how to trust mypartner again. Trust between two people means that they can be vulnerable with each other. Maintaining trust is very important to having satisfying relationships. Losing trust is a two-way street, and so is rebuilding it. For me, it is very important to trust my partner. Please, help me.

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Joseph's picture
Last seen: 2 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 12/19/2017 - 12:38
The wrong way is to try to

The wrong way is to try to achieve forgiveness. In this scenario, there are two roles: the criminal and the judge, he is the accuser. The criminal has already been convicted and can only bribe the judge for the sake of mitigating or canceling the sentence. So the partner, "redeeming guilt", in fact, tries to bribe another. In this situation, a lot of underlying anger on the part of the guilty and open - on the part of the one who is trying to achieve forgiveness.But forgiveness does not correct the situation. It does not cancel the pain caused and does not restore confidence. It will not be possible to "earn trust again". Here again there are two non-equilibrium roles: the applicant for mercy and the one who condescendingly evaluates his efforts. "You're trying very hard!" - a profitable position that allows you to squeeze as much of the situation as possible.

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Oliver's picture
Last seen: 2 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 12/19/2017 - 12:21
If specific circumstances

If specific circumstances permit this, the "guilty" says that he sincerely regrets his mistake and wants to keep the relationship, the only way out is to try to rise higher - to return to the original, true love that gives itself unselfishly. Treason hurts and torments so much because we "take away" a person who, as we involuntarily believe, belongs to us. But none of us can not be the "property" of the other. To love another person is first of all to wish him well and to love him free.It makes no sense to close your eyes and pretend that nothing has happened. To understand how to restore trust in a relationship, first of all, your pain and resentment must be recognized - and clearly tell the partner about your feelings. Speak always from the first person: "I feel injustice", "it's hard for me to believe", "it hurts me". True forgiveness is not self-sacrifice or renunciation of one's own worth. It is always a conscious and uneasy work for the benefit of two.

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Last seen: 1 month 3 weeks ago
Joined: 01/16/2018 - 18:09
How to rebuild trust

Expect an emotional reaction from the other person. Admitting that you betrayed someone is not going to make things easier immediately. On the contrary, you can expect an emotional outburst—yelling, crying, and so on—from the other person when she hears you admit your betrayal. But remember, the best way to move on is by putting it all into the open. Apologize. This one should be obvious, but unfortunately, sometimes it gets overlooked. How you approach saying your apology will influence whether or not the apology is accepted and you both can move on. When apologizing, avoid justifying your actions. Don’t claim that the offended person misunderstood you (“you read that wrong”).

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IamJack's picture
Last seen: 1 month 2 days ago
Joined: 01/21/2018 - 21:07
Hi, OP! I think you should

Hi, OP! I think you should stop any relationships with this guy. Yeah, it may sound too cruel, but it's the best you can do for both of you. He has cheated you once, so he may do this again and again. It seems to you that you love him, but in fact, there is a very bad dependency that makes you think so. Of course, you may give him a second chance, but I'm not much sure, that he won't cheat you one more time. Saddly, but I have to confess that people don't change much in their lives...

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