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Michael1585's picture
Michael1585
Last seen: 6 months 9 hours ago
Joined: 09/28/2017 - 19:06
How to rebuild trust

Hello guys! I have a huge problem. My partner cheated me and I don't know what to do. Whether to forgive him and to forget about it or to break our relationships. Well, if to br honest, I still love him and I don't really want to brake up, but on the other hand, I can't trust him any more. Guys, have you ever had the same situatio? What have you done? Do you know some ways how to rebuild the trust? If so, than can you share it with me, bacause I don't know how to trust mypartner again. Trust between two people means that they can be vulnerable with each other. Maintaining trust is very important to having satisfying relationships. Losing trust is a two-way street, and so is rebuilding it. For me, it is very important to trust my partner. Please, help me.

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Joseph's picture
Joseph
Last seen: 6 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 12/19/2017 - 12:38
The wrong way is to try to

The wrong way is to try to achieve forgiveness. In this scenario, there are two roles: the criminal and the judge, he is the accuser. The criminal has already been convicted and can only bribe the judge for the sake of mitigating or canceling the sentence. So the partner, "redeeming guilt", in fact, tries to bribe another. In this situation, a lot of underlying anger on the part of the guilty and open - on the part of the one who is trying to achieve forgiveness.But forgiveness does not correct the situation. It does not cancel the pain caused and does not restore confidence. It will not be possible to "earn trust again". Here again there are two non-equilibrium roles: the applicant for mercy and the one who condescendingly evaluates his efforts. "You're trying very hard!" - a profitable position that allows you to squeeze as much of the situation as possible.

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Oliver's picture
Oliver
Last seen: 6 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 12/19/2017 - 12:21
If specific circumstances

If specific circumstances permit this, the "guilty" says that he sincerely regrets his mistake and wants to keep the relationship, the only way out is to try to rise higher - to return to the original, true love that gives itself unselfishly. Treason hurts and torments so much because we "take away" a person who, as we involuntarily believe, belongs to us. But none of us can not be the "property" of the other. To love another person is first of all to wish him well and to love him free.It makes no sense to close your eyes and pretend that nothing has happened. To understand how to restore trust in a relationship, first of all, your pain and resentment must be recognized - and clearly tell the partner about your feelings. Speak always from the first person: "I feel injustice", "it's hard for me to believe", "it hurts me". True forgiveness is not self-sacrifice or renunciation of one's own worth. It is always a conscious and uneasy work for the benefit of two.

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Dustin
Last seen: 5 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 01/16/2018 - 18:09
How to rebuild trust

Expect an emotional reaction from the other person. Admitting that you betrayed someone is not going to make things easier immediately. On the contrary, you can expect an emotional outburst—yelling, crying, and so on—from the other person when she hears you admit your betrayal. But remember, the best way to move on is by putting it all into the open. Apologize. This one should be obvious, but unfortunately, sometimes it gets overlooked. How you approach saying your apology will influence whether or not the apology is accepted and you both can move on. When apologizing, avoid justifying your actions. Don’t claim that the offended person misunderstood you (“you read that wrong”).

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IamJack's picture
IamJack
Last seen: 5 months 2 days ago
Joined: 01/21/2018 - 21:07
Hi, OP! I think you should

Hi, OP! I think you should stop any relationships with this guy. Yeah, it may sound too cruel, but it's the best you can do for both of you. He has cheated you once, so he may do this again and again. It seems to you that you love him, but in fact, there is a very bad dependency that makes you think so. Of course, you may give him a second chance, but I'm not much sure, that he won't cheat you one more time. Saddly, but I have to confess that people don't change much in their lives...

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Alister
Last seen: 3 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 03/15/2018 - 06:54
How can you deal with someone

How can you deal with someone you can not trust? If there is no axle in the cart, how can you ride it?  Often we hear from friends or even a psychologist, that the relationship with a man must necessarily build on trust, and this is difficult to disagree. Trust is a feeling of complete tranquility, the absence of any doubt. Complete naturalness of relations. Trust is an open relationship built on the certainty of decency, the benevolence of another person towards you. Trust knows no doubt, where doubt begins, trust dies.

Indeed, trust is the main component of harmonious relations, but where to get this very component? How to learn to trust each other?

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Randy's picture
Randy
Last seen: 1 month 2 weeks ago
Joined: 05/20/2018 - 11:03
It is much more profitable to

It is much more profitable to pursue one's own selfish interests, cooperating with many people on different conditions. This is the best way to achieve your goals. 

The most successful people in the world are not selfish single people who do not give a shit at all, but good sellers, competent diplomats, reliable partners and generous virtues who know that to succeed you need to be able to share with others. No violence and no arrogance will allow you to receive from people the same return as you can get from cooperation with them. 

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Phil12's picture
Phil12
Last seen: 1 month 2 weeks ago
Joined: 05/20/2018 - 11:08
A specialist who is well

A specialist who is well versed in the psychology of people can help them become happier and more cheerful, he can teach them to love themselves and their life so that they get satisfaction from it. And other specialists create medicines that save lives for many people. Well, and so on. In other words, knowing this world, thanks to development and self-development, we get the opportunity to change it. And let not always in the best line we change it, but nevertheless in what it is necessary to do, it is not necessary to doubt. So, the more developed a person is, the greater master of his life and even this whole world he feels himself.

 

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Berk's picture
Berk
Last seen: 3 weeks 19 hours ago
Joined: 06/18/2018 - 06:24
You just imagine this

You just imagine this situation, and then think about what you would do in that case, and whether this decision was right. Model different scenarios of events in your life, and determine the order of your actions in case they arise. The goal is not to spread straw everywhere wherever possible, but to prepare you psychologically, you can even write down the order of your actions on paper. Because if you suddenly happen even what you basically expected, your emotions can cloud your mind, and most likely it will be so.
Now in a calm and relatively stable environment, you as a sober-minded person in their right mind understand that some changes in your life have been asking for a long time already, and that they will actually lead you to the best.

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Lester's picture
Lester
Last seen: 2 weeks 3 days ago
Joined: 06/18/2018 - 06:15
Perhaps, we all have to deal

Perhaps, we all have to deal with insults in our lives from time to time. Situations when we offend anyone, or when someone resents us, is almost inevitable. It's understandable, not always our behavior suits other people, and their behavior does not always suit us, and for that there are a lot of reasons. The main reason is our selfishness, which forces us to think primarily about ourselves, while other people want us to think about them, or even about them. And we also want that other people do not forget about us and take into account our interests and desires, taking those or other decisions. 

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Harvey's picture
Harvey
Last seen: 1 week 4 days ago
Joined: 06/27/2018 - 11:06
Hi everybody. Michael? i am

Hi everybody. Michael? i am very sorry to hear about your situation. Bad things happen unfortunately. This is a very difficult and intimate situation. Unfortunately it is rather hard to give advice on things like that. My own opinions contrudict each other here if i am honest. On one hand, i think that betrayal is something we should not forgive, ever. Because once it happen we can never know for sure if will or will not happen again. On the other hand, i would say if you love - fight. So it is up to you only, to decide what to do here. You sgould have self respect and not let people put you down, even if it is people you love. But if you really want to be with this peron then sit down and talk. Tell him honestly about your feelings and emotions. If he loves you too then he will be interested in finding a way how to make you trust him again. Good luck

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