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Leny08
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 11/03/2016 - 08:28
How to cope with miscarriage?

Hi, all! Want to share with you our pain because it seems like if I keep it inside I'll explode. 

So, I and my husband (not officialy) decided to go through surrogacy program. I am....was biological father.  I know a lot of gay couples which use surrogacy as a good option for becoming parents. When we started our program in one of European clinics we were so inspired that soon we will become happy parent of a cute baby girl or baby boy. There was no matter of gender we just wanted to be  a family with a child. Everything was ok till the 7th week. On the 7th week of pregnancy our surrogate had a miscarriage. 

It is hard. It looks like our heart died together with that child. We feel ourselves like we don't have a reason to wake up in the morning.

We used economy package which doesn't include a few attemps, so according to the contract we had one and only attempt for fertilization and as a result for pregnancy. We even didn't talk about the possibility of miscarriage, in our heads it looked like ....if she is pregnant we are already parents for 100%

and now we don't know what to do and where to go, we are in total frustration. We feel like our child died and there are no way out and no medicines to heal this pain. 

How to cope with it and how to move further?

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nobu
Last seen: 17 hours 46 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:48
it is really sad news. dude.

it is really sad news. dude. it is very painful to lose own child. Look loss in the face. After a serious loss, we sometimes want to do something, anything, to dull the pain. The impact of harmful habits, for example drug use, alcohol abuse, too much sleep, Internet, excessive and mindless promiscuity threaten your well-being and contribute to the habituation to pain and further. You will never truly healed as long as you don't face a loss.

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samir
Last seen: 17 hours 39 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:53
Ignoring the pain caused by

Ignoring the pain caused by the loss or reassurance will work for just so long, no matter how fast you run from your grief, eventually, it will overtake you. You have to confront your loss. Allow yourself to cry or grieve in another way that feel natural. Only by recognizing your grief you can begin to deal with it.

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samir
Last seen: 17 hours 39 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:53
When memories of loss still

When memories of loss still fresh, the grief deserves your full attention. However, you have to draw the line for the duration of your grief. Give yourself a time limit, maybe, from a few days to a week to be miserable. For a long period of sadness will eventually cause you stuck in feelings of loss will become paralyzed by self-pity and will be unable to move forward.

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marley
Last seen: 17 hours 59 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:21
Unleash your pain. Let the

Unleash your pain. Let the tears flow. Never be afraid to cry, even if it's not what you normally do. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel pain or Express it. It is important that you recognize the pain and try to work on this. How you do it is entirely up to you, and will be different for each individual.

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marley
Last seen: 17 hours 59 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:21
Unleash your pain. Let the

Unleash your pain. Let the tears flow. Never be afraid to cry, even if it's not what you normally do. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel pain or Express it. It is important that you recognize the pain and try to work on this. How you do it is entirely up to you, and will be different for each individual.

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marley
Last seen: 17 hours 59 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:21
Find an outlet for your pain.

Find an outlet for your pain. If you are forced to do certain activities when you grieve, do it (provided that it does not harm themselves or others.) Crying, pummeling the pillow, going for a long run, throwing things, to go on a long journey, to cry out, in the woods or other secluded spot and to touch memories are just a few of the ways in which different people spill out his pain. They are all equally effective.

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michellino
Last seen: 17 hours 49 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:41
Share your feelings with

Share your feelings with others. It is helpful to find people who can take care of you when you feel bad. If you can't find such a person among friends, refer to the caring stranger, a priest, psychologist or therapist. Even if you feel that you are broken, confused and uncertain, talk to someone you trust is one way to afford to start to get rid of the pain you are experiencing

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michellino
Last seen: 17 hours 49 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:41
If you are concerned that

If you are concerned that those who listen to you, may be embarrassed or upset, warn in advance what you are going to say, and it should alleviate the problem. Just let them know that you're sad, you're upset, confused, etc., and that you appreciate listening to you man, despite the fact that some of your words have no meaning. A caring friend or a stranger won't mind.

 

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nobu
Last seen: 17 hours 46 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:48
Among those who disparagingly

Among those who disparagingly refers to your grief may be even your friends with good (but wrong) intentions. Renew relationships with these people, when you feel stronger. Until then, stay away from their impatience - you can't rush your emotional recovery.

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nobu
Last seen: 17 hours 46 min ago
Joined: 10/11/2016 - 17:48
The loss of a loved one is

The loss of a loved one is the most stressful event which can lead to serious emotional crisis. After the death of those whom man loves, he feels the heavy loss, which decreases only after some time. And Man never ceases to remember a loved one, it may it is not be missed, but the pain gradually recedes.

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