Parents know that diapers will have to change that homework will have to do that dentists the money received for their services, will be able to relax in a posh resort, but in General the future of fatherhood and motherhood seem to be sufficient happiness to ultimately make a decision on it. Looking back on this time later, they remember those feelings that expected to experience.
However, if we measure the actual satisfaction of people with children, you'll find a very different picture. As shown in the figure, at the beginning of the family life of a pair of usually are completely happy, then the happiness level gradually decreases and returns to its former height only when children leave home.
Every parent knows that children is a lot of work, really hard work. Although parenthood can sometimes be a lot rewarding for all moments, mainly being a parent means long and selflessly to serve the people who only a few decades, perhaps, will be a little bit grateful.
"Children bring happiness".. We are part of the transmission system of beliefs. And this system will not work if it does not increase the number of people delivering messages. The belief that children are a source of happiness becomes part of our cultural wisdom, because a contrary view would jeopardize the existence of any society.
Indeed, people who believed that children bring misery and misfortune, and therefore would not, — would have left without a case its transmission system of belief for 50 years, and after the termination of their existence, this belief, too, would have disappeared. In 1800 appeared a utopian community which immediately increased to 6,000. They approved of children, but not a natural act leading to their emergence into the light.
The rules of the game in the transmission of belief are: we must believe that children and money bring happiness, not thinking about if it's right. But do not assume that all of us should immediately quit work and abandon the family. Rather, it means that although we believe that raise children and earn money in order to increase their happiness, in fact we do this for reasons beyond our understanding.
Each of us is an integral part of the social system, developing by its own laws, why we continue to work hard, get married and wonder why we are not experiencing the joy that so confidently anticipated.
For many people, family and children, are practically inseparable concepts. Children for them – it's kind of the meaning of life, procreation, family... of Course, this view is currently quite old-fashioned, however, even among my inner circle, there are such people. And if a traditional couple having a baby is not difficult, then how can you be gay?
In modern society do with the "fatherhood" of gay men is associated with many questions, definitive answers to that yet. Will the two fathers to raise a harmonious personality? Will not hurt if such education psychological health of the child? How will affect him the existence of two popes, and will not cause it emotional trauma?
Even among gay men opinions can radically diverge. For some this is a dream, for others – something unacceptable and wrong. In this context, the problem of "fathers and children" is beginning to acquire a slightly different meaning than once wrote to Turgenev. And this is connected not with the question of mutual understanding between representatives of different generations, and with the desire of gays to have children, but bring them up in a nontraditional family. Painful issue for society as a whole, and for the gay community in particular, because apart from the legal aspects, there are plenty of psychological.
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