With all the advantages of shyness still makes us constantly doubting their decisions and sometimes simply a hindrance. No one can make you (and it is not necessary) to be the soul of the company, are constantly in the spotlight or get acquainted with everyone. However, in order to reach an understanding with colleagues or chenami family need to make some bold steps towards parting with timidity. So if your friend think his shyness beginning to disturb him, it is necessary to add to his actions more confidence. He should know his limits. Do not do or say anything that causes you discomfort.
If your friend can not talk long with too outspoken person, or work in a team, do not do it. There is no need to torture himself. He had cast up his priorities. His values - a kind of "beacons" to which you are targeting. Let him try to decide on what is really important to you. If you do not, it may undermine the confidence of any situation. He should train skills. His confidence will appear along with its competence. If he is driving, he must be sure that it is well drive a car. If he is a teacher, he should know that giving students enough knowledge and do it well. I think that's the most important thing in this process.
Modesty in psychology, it is a moral quality that characterizes the individual, depending on his relationship to himself and to others. It is not peculiar to boastfulness and arrogance, and with others it behaves as an equal, even if he has something to be proud of. The basis of this quality is positive, but there are times when modesty - it's bad. It happens that modesty becomes ostentatious character. Usually this method is used insecure people. A man posing as a humble and shy, so asking for compliments and praise. Such manipulations are called false modesty. I think that the psychologist can help your friend.
True natural modesty could be considered a positive trait, if it had not threatened to turn eventually into the complex. Often, excessive shyness and constant self-doubt become a problem and hinder human development. Shy people limit their opportunities in all spheres of life. It is difficult to make a step towards the girl you like. At his workplace, his head swarming mass of interesting ideas, but he hesitates to express them. In communicating with others, it is silent and dull. Therefore, the question "Does a Man decorates modesty" can not give a definite answer. I also think that only your friend can save him from modesty. He just has to understand that it is bad.
When this quality is manifested in moderate and does not interfere with normal life, it is positive. And if it is too much, then this can be attributed to the negative qualities. Scientists say the existence of a gene shyness. It manifests itself from birth in people with unstable nervous system. education. Improper and insufficient training skills fetter man and make him overly shy. Children's psychological trauma. As a result of the shock experienced in early childhood affects many traits, and modesty is not an exception. Therefore, it can be good or bad. Your friend must first make his choice.
Very often these people are blissfully afraid of the opinions of those around them: they think that the worst thing in life - not like other people, cause disapproval, mockery, or discontent. That is why shy people never allows himself to be the center of attention, inhibits spontaneous arising of desire, does not want to openly express their views and defend their rights. I think that your friend just needs to learn to be a man. He must understand that the world around him quite a dangerous and cruel. And it must be able to defend his own interests. If he continues to hesitate, his life will become worse.
Such people avoid situations in which you need to act and make decisions, communicate openly and to tell others about their values. It is because of this most shy people do not achieve success in life: they just can not bring myself to meet new people, try to communicate, to take advantage of the opportunity offered and start doing something new - they are afraid of failure. When a person is constantly confused, and too concerned about what they thought of his behavior around, it works against him around really can not adequately assess all the skills and talents of this man, and he loses clarity of thought. I think he just needs to learn to communicate with other people. And everything will get better.
This problem is much more common than it might seem: the results of research, about 80% of people often feel shy in different situations, and 40% exhibit shyness almost constantly. This is manifested in different ways: a man quickens the pulse, he can not speak, breaks down, trembling, he puts down his eyes. I do not think it is too serious a problem. Just your friend should try to become a stronger and better mentally and physically. For example, I also had a similar problem. And only the gym has helped me get rid of my shyness. Just because I started training and doing my body is beautiful, I got rid of oppression.
Modesty, of course, decorates a person, but in moderation. After all, too shy people risk being completely unnoticed. What is modesty? It is a mixture of insecurity, fear and attempts to act as directed in childhood. Excessive modesty, like many other personality problems, comes from an early age - once parents too often forced your friend to sit still, speak quietly and do not run anywhere. Advise your friend to create a new self. How he behaves, what he says, how he responds to insults, how he achieves his goals. Think in detail this image together. And always keep it in your friend's head.
I greet you people)) As a mood, how is life? I'm in a perfect frame of mind and I'm ready to help anyone who needs this advice in the form of comments.) Try to explain more to your friend that he is normal and no different from others. The fact that he is gay does not mean that he is an alien for example). Until then, when he realized that he was gay, how was he, an ordinary person and did not hesitate? Or what? If talking to a friend does not help him, then to a therapist.
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