Instead of feeling joy and pleasure to communicate with emotionally significant people, he feels anxiety, anxiety and fear of being misunderstood, rejected. Later this "external critic" moves into the inner world of man and fills his critical comments about everything he tries to do or say. Metaphorically speaking the language in a person start to live as if just two psychological types - "prisoner" and "guardian", one of which is desperately eager to freedom, and the second monitors compliance with the conditions of imprisonment. Maybe he just needs to train his willpower to change his life?
Since shyness emotionally experienced as very painful and difficult to tolerable condition, a person tries to get rid of it, remove yourself from the voltage source. Besides physical avoid such situations, people tend to use psychological defense mechanisms, for example, such as the denial and suppression. In the first case, it denied the fact of experiencing emotions, its devastating effects on the psyche. In the second case, a man tries to suppress (to forget, to remove from the minds of) his thoughts about his embarrassing situations. Both of these options are ineffective and, moreover, have serious consequences for the regulation of psychological well-being and personality. But your friend can try it.
The most effective way to overcome shyness is, in my opinion, self-correction towards greater acceptance of self, the transformation of ideas about his "real I am" as good enough, worthy of love and respect. The problem is not the easiest, but it is doable. For its implementation, perhaps, someone will need the help of experts, while others, like the author, decides to deal with the problem on their own exciting. In any case, true vector along the way - more notice its merits, and not fixated on the shortcomings. I think it can also be a good way to fix your friend's shyness.
Think about it, not too much criticism in the inner world of your friend about all that he does? Whether they are substantiated put forward accusations against himself? Maybe we should listen to the voice of the inner lawyer? In general, he is there? What are the arguments in support of your personality, he leads? As for the process of interaction with other people, then coming into contact, it is important to remember that it is unlikely they all aim to match you with some existing in the minds of the standard and catch him in the mismatch. Moreover, we must understand that shyness to some extent peculiar to each of us.
What used to be considered for a shy man his innermost secret, in fact, experiencing a great many people. And everyone is doing their way to take themselves, their bodies, their individual characteristics and abilities. Let this simple truth is you inspiration on the way to the recognition of the right to pursue one's own uniqueness, acceptance of its undoubted merits and value of his life. I think he needs to understand the difference between a normal life and shyness. He must understand that this is the thing that prevents him from getting the things he wants to have in this life. Maybe then he will change something.
All of us sometimes in one degree or another are experiencing shyness. But, the main reason can be reduced to one of the following: Poor self-expression - it is particularly right for our lives in the school years. We mistakenly believe that our unique personal qualities are not interesting, you do not need, do not cool enough or do not deserve to be admired. We were trying to be like the others, and this led to the fact that we did not feel ourselves. I think that this is a problem not only for your friend. This may primarily relate to each of us. Because that shyness is a very common problem.
I think you should talk to your friend about it. You have to explain some things to him, by which he can solve his problem. I think that only he can resolve this issue completely. And you have to tell him the following things: Try to understand his shyness - be aware of your individual cause of shyness, and how it manifests itself in your life. Understand what situations cause this feeling? And what exactly is the state related? Consciousness turn in self-understanding, recognize the fact that the whole world to you is not looking. In addition, most people are very busy themselves.
Rather than evaluate himself, if your friend - it's other people, move your awareness inside yourself. Look at yourself what makes you shy, and become an outside observer of his own thoughts. Let him understanding himself - the first and most important step to any change or improve life. Find his strengths - each of us have their own unique and inimitable quality and different ways of expression. The main thing to know and fully accept the things we are doing well, even if they deviate from the norm. If you're going to remind your friend about his strengths, it will be a support for him. And it can also change a lot of things.
Shyness and uncertainty - a problem which is difficult to fight. What is the nature of this phenomenon, whether the benefits of shyness and how to overcome his shyness? Openness and courageous people do not understand the status of shy people. Shy people are embarrassed to approach a stranger and ask how long. They may neglect their own interests only because shyness prevents speak. Shyness appears as a child: the child can scare a lot of people, and it's hard to get acquainted with their peers. Some scientists believe that shyness can be an inherited trait.
Bashful people need to know that they have certain advantages. The intensive self-development. Shy person it is difficult to communicate with others, but it is easy to be with yourself. Shy people are constantly engaged in self-analysis, so they can easily isolate their shortcomings and try to work on them. Anonymity. Who would have thought that in the 21st century, the ordinary man is almost impossible to do anything without the knowledge society? But social networks, mobile phones and a bunch of applications, reports on our location, virtually make it impossible to retire. So, it is not necessarily a problem for your friend.
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