You have your own head, but in any case, we can communicate to exchange information and help each other. First, give yourself credit for what you accomplished. You wanted to stop. You gave it a best effort. And you succeeded for a while. Would you hate someone else because they attempted to overcome their problem or would you give the person credit for trying? If the person failed would you hate him or her? Or would you try to understand that they did their best? If the person has failed many times would you hate him for failing or would you give him credit for continuing to try in face of failure?
Do not judge too harshly, it's just from my personal experience in this life. If the person was concerned about their problem would you hate hi, because he was concerned or would you give her credit for identifying her problem and wanting to do something about it? Remember, you’re not going to be supportive of a person you hate. You will be on the side of someone who’s trying their best. Some people think that failure at overcoming a masturbation addiction means you don’t want to stop. There’s more to stopping than just wanting to. You need an effective method. “Just say ‘No’” doesn’t work.
The way I think – cannot be correct always. But usually I'm very self-critical. So perhaps my thoughts can help. You need an understanding of addiction. Being addicted and understanding what an addiction is are two very different states of mind. You need to know the differences between a sex addiction and other kinds of addiction. A big mistake people make when they try to deal with a sex addiction is treating a sex addiction as if it were an alcohol problem. A good example of this is the twelve-step approach. Twelve step is an alcohol program. It is not designed and is not effective for sex addiction.
My experience does not always help to deal with different problems. But in any case, the experience – it is experience. You need to know what makes a masturbation addiction different from other kinds of sex addiction. The Most Personal Addiction will give you an in depth discussion of the differences. You also need to determine if you are addicted to masturbation. The interviews in The Most Personal Addiction will help you understand if you have a sex addiction and will help you begin the process of getting a masturbation addiction stopped. There is also a further discussion about masturbation addiction in the article Masturbation Addiction Counseling.
This is just my experience in this life, but perhaps you might be interested to hear. Masturbation like any other natural experience can also become addictive. Not every person who masturbates is addicted to it. But, if you are addicted to masturbation, you've developed a sexual addiction. Hopefully, you aren't sexually addicted. If you are, don't look at yourself as if you are an evil pervert. Don't drown yourself in shame. Look at sexual addiction as a personal problem. Be glad you are aware of it. Be glad you want to do something about it. If there is any addiction that is virtually denied on all levels it is compulsive masturbation.
I do not have some kind of special education, to talk about it in detail. But anyway, that's what I heard, plus my opinion. It is socially acceptable and even encouraged for people to admit other addictions like alcohol, drugs, eating, work, fetishes, promiscuity, phone sex, etc. But the person addicted to masturbation is shunned. In fact, in most cases s/he will be told, "You're not addicted. Masturbation is just another form of sex. Don't worry about it." Most people discover masturbation in puberty. Some don't discover it until their early adulthood. Along with their discovery of masturbation they encounter the fear mongering that tells them, "Masturbation is a sin.
It's just something I know. So please do not be angry if something is wrong. "Masturbation will make you go blind." "Masturbation is not natural," and other misinformed rants. The advice offered by the defenders of masturbation is just as foolish. The advice can be summed up in one phrase: "If it feels good, do it." They refuse to admit that masturbation can be used addictively. The profession in most denial about addictive masturbation is psychotherapy. For a very long time addicted masturbators have told their therapists, "I have a problem with masturbation." The advice given was, "Masturbation is natural. You don't have a problem."
Well, I'm just telling you things that I know from my life. Well, or something I heard once. But eating is also natural; so is work. They can be used addictively and so can masturbation. One problem with addictive masturbation is that it is non-relationship sex. Instead of healthy, loving sex with another person, compulsive masturbation leads to shallow, fantasy-based sex alone. Some addicted masturbators completely avoid intimate relationships. Most seek out intimacy and discover that their addiction to having sex alone conflicts with their need for genuine, loving intimacy. Unlike other sexual addictions, it can be difficult to determine if masturbation is being used addictively.
All this is what I have heard, I read once in the past, and my opinion as well. I hope that the guys here can also give more. The Sexual Addiction Interview and The Most Personal Addiction will help you decide. For a discussion of the relationship between a masturbation addiction and pornography addiction, read Pornography Addiction Insights for Men and Women. Masturbation is a common sexual addiction that affects men and women alike. Masturbation is a healthy part of sexual exploration during childhood development. Sometimes a person turns to masturbation as a form of self-medication to deal with stress or trauma. When masturbation becomes a method of escape, this can set the stage for an addictive pattern.
Hey, I heard something about it. I can not give some serious advice or information, but perhaps even my knowledge of this will be useful to you.... Masturbation happens in every culture, across every period of history, and it's the way most adolescents discover what they enjoy before embarking on adult sexual relationships. However, if it's becoming an obsession that inhibits other aspects of your life, or you belong to a religion or philosophy that forbids masturbation, then it's possible to curb the impulse, gather your self-discipline, and take control of your urges. Find another outlet for your time and energy.
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